I’ve never been so stressed out in my life.
I glance nervously at the clock and then at the pile of blank envelopes and support letters strewn about the table.
In addition to raising a support team that partners with me in prayer, I have to raise $2700 by June 18, get Hepatitis and Typhoid vaccinations, purchase fashion that is appropriate for blending into Lebanese culture, read “Blood Brothers” by Elias Chacour and “Cross-Cultural Servanthood” by Duane Elmer, and still keep up with school.
Whew. Deep breaths, Kate, deep breaths.
Somehow, I’ve been able to set aside a chunk of time every week to blog and sit in solitude and just breathe. But other than that, life has been hectic beyond my imagination.
When I have exactly 6 weeks left of my least favorite subject, Chemistry to complete before I leave for Lebanon, keeping up my motivation is so incredibly hard. To be honest, I’m completely exhausted every night, but refreshed a little bit more each morning from the Father. It’s crazy, but He continues to show me again and again, despite my doubts, that no matter what the outcomes, He is still good and ever faithful. It’s been an amazing exercise of faith, trust and patience that I can’t quite wrap my head around.
Today I learned something new about servanthood that struck me. As I was praying this morning, I was asking God to set me on fire for His kingdom.
But I wondered, what if there is more to that prayer? What if servanthood was more than short spasms of passion that last for a few weeks or months? What if passion for Christ’s kingdom means a life that leads steadily in obedience and humility towards God’s will?
Friends, I believe that there is no other calling that is higher than just loving people the way Christ has loved us. You may be sitting in an office or a classroom, stuck in the dreary, mundane routine of life, or maybe you’re feeling discouraged and trampled on by others. Wherever you are, I pray with fervor that you will realize that no matter how God uses us or how young or old we are, He works miracles, gives us wisdom and courage that can give us unimaginable strength and peace.
Yes, ask God to set you on fire, but that is a prayer that must lead your life. In the mundane, the chaos, the grief and the joy; embrace it as a part of God’s plan and will for you. He will not abandon you at your darkest hour or highest peak. He has fathomed and reached them all and knows what it feels like.
Ask God today to fan the glowing embers of your soul to create a single, steady flame that does not rise up in an inferno and scorch its surroundings, but rather, warms the air and gives a little more light to the darkness that engulfs us.